lexiesloan (lexiesloan) wrote,
lexiesloan
lexiesloan

I’ve Found I’m Scared to Know I’m Always On Your Mind (Mark/Lexie)


I have labeled each of these stories with the tag Family so you can keep track of each one that way so there is no confusion or in case you miss one. I am very happy these continue to be so well-liked. Some are more loved than others but I still am overwhelmed with the support I am getting. Thank you so much to everyone for your support. And, xxhoney89 , your request of a Mark/Lexie date night will be in the next set of drabbles. I promise. I hope everyone likes this newest update.

 

Mark hesitates in the front door, already dressed in his scrubs. He has given Ally, Ellie and Sam kisses goodbye and now he looks at Lexie standing in front of him, fidgeting with the car keys in his hand.

 

She smiles, almost laughing before putting her hands on his chest and tilting her head up towards his, she gives him a kiss. “Have a good day,” she tells him.

 

Mark slides his arms around her waist, bringing her body tightly against his, and he kissed her again. “Remember. I just have two surgeries and a few consultations with patients today so if you need anything-”

 

“I will call, I promise,” she nods. “Now go,” she kisses him. “And have a good day.” She kisses him again and Mark cups the back of her head, deepening it, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, tasting the cup of coffee she has had for breakfast and making her moan softly, her fingers fisting in his dark blue scrub shirt. “We will all be here when you come home from work. Now go.”

 

Mark kisses her once more before taking a deep breath and turning, heading down the front steps and going to his car parked in the driveway. When he turns back, Lexie is still standing in the doorway, watching him, and she smiles at him before giving a little wave and going into the house, closing the door behind her.

 

He sits there in his car for another minute, telling himself that he is being ridiculous. It has been a month since Sam was born and it is Mark’s first day back at work. He has purposely made sure that it is a busy day for himself so that it seems as if time is moving faster.

 

He shakes his head. Now, he’s the one who’s pathetic, not even able to leave for a day to go to work – something his family actually needs him to do for them.

 

Looking once more up at the house and shaking his head again with a smirk, he finally reverses the car out of the driveway, wondering what the hell has happened to him.

 

 

Sam gets baby colic and at the end of the first week of his non-stop crying, Lexie is crying herself from pure exhaustion. They send Ally and Ellie to stay with Derek and Meredith for a few days so the girls aren’t kept awake as well. Lexie and Mark take turns holding him, trying to soothe him and give him pacifiers to suck on but no matter what they attempt, nothing works and his crying only continues. Mark is so tired that he has to reschedule some of his surgeries so he doesn’t fall asleep at the operating table.

 

It lasts for almost two weeks and then, just as suddenly as it started, it stops and Sam is quiet again, seeming to be just fine. After taking him to Arizona – who is the Sloan children’s unofficial doctor – and she deems him to be perfectly healthy and the colic gone, Mark and Lexie drop Sam off at Meredith and Derek’s for a few hours and then they return home, both falling asleep the instant they fall into their bed.

 

 

Ally is fascinated with animals and begins watching the National Geographic and Discovery channels over Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. Lexie gets her a subscription to Zoobooks and every month, when a new issue of the colorful children’s magazine arrives, Ally pours over each one, studying the pictures and practicing her reading with it, carrying it with her everywhere she goes until it is nearly falling apart.

 

When she is reading, she starts many sentences with, “Mommy, guess what?” or “Daddy, did you know…” and she also reads them to Ellie and Sam and shows them the photographs and illustrations.

 

Mark is stunned into silence one night as he sits on the couch with Ally and watches a nature show on television with Ally and she talks for nearly five minutes straight on her knowledge of carpenter ants. When he asks her what her favorite animal is, she says the sea turtle and the ant. He comes home from work the next day, presenting her with an ant farm she can keep in her room. Ally throws herself against Mark, hugging him as tightly as she can and thanking him over and over.

 

Lexie smiles, loving to see how happy Ally is and to see just how wonderful of a father Mark is to their children.

 

“But if any of those ants get out in the house, I will kill you,” she informs him sweetly and he smirks before kissing her.

 

 

Lexie and Mark are in the bathroom – Mark brushing his teeth and Lexie standing in her bra and panties, looking at her reflection in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of the door.

 

She turns sideways to look at her body. “Mark, would you ever give me a tummy tuck?” She asks.

 

“Hell, no,” he answers through a mouthful of toothpaste and looking at her as if she has lost her mind for even suggesting that and his eyes rake up and down her thin body – her long, lean legs, the slight fare of her hips, her flat stomach, her larger breasts. She was a B cup and now with the babies, she has become a C cup – a perfect size for her in Mark’s professional opinion.

 

Lexie sees something different. She looks back at herself in the mirror and sighs softly. “I’m not twenty-four years old anymore,” she says quietly, more to herself.

 

 

Mark admits that ever since Callie kissed him in her overly-emotional state, he has been avoiding her. He knows the kiss was an accident and it didn’t mean a damn thing but he can’t help but feel immensely guilty over it – especially since he never told Lexie about it. It was just a kiss and one that he didn’t initiate or even respond to. Callie had been upset and they had a history together of using kisses and touches and sex to make them feel better.

 

She comes to the house and Mark and her stay out on the front porch but Lexie overhears them through the closed door as she passes it to go upstairs to put Ellie down for her nap. She stops dead in her tracks and her heart seizes in her chest, hoping she has misheard.

 

When Callie leaves, Lexie confronts him, wanting to know if he and Callie kissed and Mark isn’t able to deny it.

 

“It was just a kiss, Lex,” he says. “And it lasted for a second. And I didn’t even do anything. Callie kissed me.” Tears spring in her eyes – her hormones still sometimes completely out of whack – and Lexie stares at him. “Lex-”

 

“How would you feel if some guy kissed me?” She asks. “Only for a second?”

 

His silence and the hardness in his eyes is her answer.

 

Lexie wipes at her cheeks. “Do you know how unattractive I have been feeling?”

 

Mark hasn’t known and he stares at her for a moment. He, of course, thinks she’s insane but he won’t dare tell her that. He opens his mouth to tell her just how fucking beautiful she is but Lexie speaks before he can.

 

“You go off every day and are surrounded by all of these beautiful women who want you. And I’m here and I’ve had three kids and the first time you saw me naked was when I was twenty-four and I know I don’t look like that anymore, Mark. I will never look like that again.”

 

“Lexie-” he tries to say but she turns and goes up the stairs where Ally is calling for her, leaving Mark standing motionless in the front hall.

 

 

After dinner, Ally and Ellie go into the living room and Mark puts on a movie for them before going back into the kitchen where Lexie is loading the dishwasher, Sam sitting on his carrier on the counter so she can keep an eye on him. Mark stands in the doorway for a moment and then comes to stand behind her.

 

“I would never cheat on you,” he tells her and she shuts the water off in the sink, slowly turning around to look at him. “And after all of this time, you shouldn’t even think that about me.” He takes a step towards her. “And you obviously have no idea how sexy and beautiful you are. Do you have any idea how it feels for me to know that you’ve had three children with me? Do you know how humbled I feel to watch you carry those kids around for nine months and then give birth to them? Do you know what you do to me when I watch you with them, knowing that you chose me to have those kids with?”

 

Tears well in Lexie’s eyes again and he takes another step towards her.

 

“You, who’s the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, chose me to be the father of her children,” he says, reaching out, touching her, his fingers wrapping around her upper arms, closing the distance between them. “I will never put a scalpel to you. I won’t give you a tummy tuck or do anything to change your breasts. I married you. I fell in love with you. Not plastic and silicone. And you’re right. You’re not twenty-four anymore. You’re hotter now. You obviously have no idea how hot you are. Not just as the mother of my children or this incredibly smart doctor. But as a woman. A woman I always want. You’re the only woman for me, Lexie Sloan.”

 

Lexie is too stunned to speak. Mark isn’t one to give such speeches and she has no idea what to say. So instead, she smiles faintly, tears still in her eyes, and slipping her arms around his shoulders, she stands up on her toes and kisses him on the lips.

 

 

Owen answers the door, his blue jeans unzipped and a sweatshirt halfway on over his head.

 

“You’re not ready,” Mark frowns. “We’re gonna be late and Derek is meeting us down there. Kick-off is in,” he stops to look at his watch. “Forty-five minutes.”

 

It is a tradition he has always wanted to do. Take his kids to a pro-game. This year, he feels that Ally is old enough and he is taking her to a Seahawks vs. 49ers game. When Ellie and Sam are old enough, it will be something he will do with them as well. Just the two of them. A way to spend one-on-one time with them and share something with them that he loves.

 

Ally has been so excited for this day, she barely slept the night before, waiting in eager anticipation like she would have for Christmas.

 

She wears blue jeans and a blue Seahawks hooded sweatshirt that Lexie bought for her just for this day with her hair pulled up in a ponytail. It is cold and rainy outside – not ideal football weather but a typical Seattle day and she wears her yellow rain slicker and galoshes. Mark really hopes the weather doesn’t make her sick later.

 

“I’m always ready,” he says, stepping aside so Mark and Ally can enter the apartment. “I just have to get my shoes and coat.”

 

“Uncle Owen, I have to use your bathroom,” Ally says, crossing her legs and looking up at him with pathetic eyes. “I got to go really bad. I don’t want to pee my pants.”

 

“Well, we don’t want that either. Use the one down the hall. Not the one in my bedroom,” he says but Ally is already scurrying off down the hallway.

 

“What’s going on?” Mark asks him with a concerned frown as Owen sits down on the couch to put on his shoes. “You’re an Army man. You’re always prepared and ready to go.”

 

“So I didn’t have my shoes on. Stop being dramatic,” Owen says.

 

“Uncle Owen,” Ally says, coming back into the living room. “There’s a lady in your bed… and I think she’s naked,” she adds in a harsh whisper, leaning forward to inform the two men.

 

“What?” Mark nearly yelped, first looking at Ally and then at Owen. “Did my six-year-old daughter just see Yang naked in your bed?”

 

It only takes one quick look from Owen before he looks away for Mark to understand. He recognizes the look well.

 

He falls quiet and simply nods, swinging Ally up into his arms.

 

“You ready?” He asks and Owen nods himself, grabbing his coat and his keys.

 

“Don’t tell anyone,” Owen says as he closes and locks the door behind them.

 

He knows he doesn’t have to say that though. Mark won’t say a word.

 

 

It rains the entire game and Ally gets a horrible cold, sneezing and coughing.

 

As she is lying in bed surrounded by her Zoobooks and with her stuffed turtle, teddy bear, and Charlie keeping her company, she makes a grimacing face when Lexie feeds her a spoonful of the bitter tasting red cough syrup.

 

Ally swallows and then sticks out her tongue gagging. 

 

“Are you glad you went to the game with your daddy? Even though you got sick?” Lexie asks, closing the red medicine bottle.

 

The girl nods and smiles widely. “Totally worth it.”

 

 

“You have very sexy arms,” Lexie smiles, kneeling on the bed, rubbing her hands over his chest and arms, feeling his muscles flex slightly in her fingers’ wake. She leans down and kisses his stomach and smiles against his skin when he tangles his fingers in her hair.

 

“I’m guessing that having sexy arms is a good thing?” Mark asks, his eyes closed as he laid on his back in the middle of their bed. He loves Sunday mornings when they have nowhere to go and nothing to do and all of the kids are still asleep. It is his idea of heaven. And, of course, adding Lexie – a nearly naked Lexie at that – only makes the morning all the more sweeter for him. “As long as they turn you on.”

 

She is kneeling at the foot of the bed, the green sheets pooled around her knees and one of his tee-shirts hanging off of her much smaller frame, the neckline sliding to the side past her shoulder, exposing a patch of her pale smooth skin to him and the bite mark he had given her late the previous night. He loves biting her or sucking on her, leaving a mark on her, labeling her as his because that’s what she is.

 

She doesn’t belong to anyone else. No one has the right to even think about doing the things to her that he does to her. She is all his – as if she having his three children left any room for people to not know that already. And in return, she leaves him with plenty of markings of his own from her.

 

Mark sits up and leans comfortably against the headboard of the bed, watching her, smirking as she falls forward, positioning herself on her hands and knees – the neckline of the tee-shirt scooping low to reveal the outline shapes of her breasts to him.

 

She is on the hunt, a cat on the prowl, and he is quickly becoming her prey. Her large brown eyes set on him and she crawls up between his legs, one of her hands sliding up his leg, resting on his knee. Staring at him, her index finger traces the deep scar he has there from a skiing accident years earlier and he shudders when she bends down to press her lips to it, her tongue tracing it as she kisses it. She moves her hands upwards, her nails scraping across his stomach, making him arch his back slightly and tangle his fingers in her hair, gripping her head, keeping her exactly where she was.

 

When she moves her lips upwards over his thigh and then takes his already hard again erection suddenly in her mouth, he groans, showing her just how weak she makes him when he gives into her. Usually, when one is teasing the other, they both try to hold out as long as possible, not wanting to cave in and beg the other to go faster. It was their game – their long torturous game. But it has been too long since they have played and Mark doesn’t want to waste it.

 

His hand bangs with a light thud on the headboard behind him as Lexie begins to suck just a fraction of a bit harder and he closes his eyes, concentrating on the warmth and wetness of her mouth on him. His hands slide from her hair down her back, tugging at the tee-shirt, wanting it off so he could feel all of her bare skin. She complies, quickly pulling away for just a moment and yanking it off over her head, tossing it somewhere in the room, before she descends again, her mouth continuing her sweet torture.

 

Her teeth graze against his length gently as her head moves upwards and Mark feels a coil of fire in his belly, losing all control, spilling suddenly, so suddenly he didn’t have time to warn her as he pours into her mouth and down her throat. Lexie doesn’t gag or cough though. She swallows every drop before she licks him clean then pulls back with a laugh. She looks at him with that warm dance in her dark eyes that he loves and he grins at her, trying to catch his breath, his chest heaving up and down.

 

He lifts his hands, sliding them across her cheeks to cup her head, the strands of hair tangling throughout his fingers and he pulls her towards him. Before they can continue though, Sam begins crying through the baby monitor on the nightstand.

 

Lexie smiles at him, leaning forward, pressing her lips to his in a quick kiss and then places one on his stomach before climbing off the bed, finding the tee-shirt and putting it back on.

 

She then smiles at him from over her shoulder and leaves the bedroom to go see to their son, leaving Mark still panting and trying to recover on their bed.

 

 

Sam lets out a squeal of baby laughter as Lexie blows a raspberry on his stomach and he kicks his legs, Lexie laughing herself. She stands up, smiling widely as she finishes changing his diaper and then lifts him in her arms, rubbing a hand on his bare back. She looks down at Ellie, who is standing next to her.

 

“Do you want pick out Sam’s clothes today, Ellie?” Lexie asks and Ellie nods before going to the dresser in the corner of the room.

 

Mark and Lexie notice that Ellie doesn’t talk much. They know she knows how to talk. She repeats words that those around her use that she doesn’t recognize and she answers, for the most part, when a question is directed towards her but she is a very quiet child. Mark calls her the silent observer. She is always watching everything around her. Lexie tries to get her to talk more but to no avail.

 

Ellie is twenty-two months old, her second birthday in November, and when Ally was that age, the girl was chattering up a storm. Lexie knows she cannot compare her children though. They are all different with different personalities and different speeds of development. If Ellie doesn’t want to talk, Mark and Lexie can’t very well make her talk. Lexie just wishes she would. It will make her feel as if she is getting to know her daughter instead of always wondering in the back of her mind if Ellie was okay because of her lack of speech.

 

Ellie holds up a blue and green striped long sleeve shirt and a pair of baby jeans. Lexie smiles, nodding, and Ellie smiles in return.

 

“Perfect, Ellie,” Lexie says and Ellie smiles wider.

 

Tags: pairing: mark sloan/lexie grey, show: grey's anatomy, story: family
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