lexiesloan (lexiesloan) wrote,

You're a Train Wreck but I Wouldn't Love You If You Changed (Mark/Lexie)

A random drabble and even now, I have no idea where it came from and am still not sure of the point. Read if you are interested. I know everyone has been ridiculously busy lately.


“Everyone says I’m bad for you,” he told her in the darkness of the attic as he laid on his back in the middle of the bed and she straddled him, his hands rubbing her thighs absentmindedly as he looked up at her.


She smiled. “Who’s everyone?”


She bent down and pressed her lips to his in a kiss and he lifted his hands to cup her head, his fingers weaving through her silky strands as her hair fell down around them like a closing curtain, a few ends brushing against his cheeks, tickling him.


“Everyone,” he reiterated because it really did seem as if everyone in the hospital had an opinion about the two of them and their relationship.


She kissed him again and a smile slowly formed across her lips against his mouth. He cupped the back of her head with one hand while his other slipped onto the small of her back and he grinned himself against her lips when he rolled them over suddenly, placing her on her back beneath him and she laughed.


He propped himself on his hands on either side of the pillow she was resting her head on and looked down at her and the pure, happy smile spread across her lips. He still had no idea what he did that made her so happy but there she was, unable to hide the joy that she felt when she was with him.


It scared him a little bit, deep down in the pit of his stomach, because he wasn’t the guy who made women happy. He was the guy women went with when they wanted to forget things in their lives for a few hours. Most knew what spending a night with Mark Sloan meant when he picked them up either at the hospital or at Joe’s. He’d smirk and flirt and place his hand on strategic areas of their bodies that left them yearning for more.


Some were stupid enough to think that anything more than a night of sex would come out of it and Mark had to get that idea out of their head as quickly, and sometimes, as cruelly, as possible. He wasn’t at all a relationship type of guy.


At least, that was how it used to be. He didn’t know what Lexie had done to him and it had been Lexie who had been the one to change him. Somewhere between her saying to him “shut up” and “teach me”, he had stumbled into the clutches of one Lexie Grey before he even knew what hit him.


Neither had been expecting it. One day, they were attending and intern, bordering on maybe, possibly being friends, but then, the next morning, they woke up, their limbs tangled together and their naked skin pressed together. And what probably scared Mark the most about waking up the morning after she came to his hotel room for the first time was that he didn’t want to get out of bed and he didn’t want her to leave either. She was the first girl in a long time – since Addison – that he was already fantasizing about again after sex. 


It was never supposed to happen – according to Derek anyway – and when everyone else found out about their relationship, they all said that it wasn’t going to last because apparently, no two people were different than Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey.


Sometimes, Mark couldn’t help but agree with them. He was a forty-year-old battle weary man whore who had fucked and then forgotten most of the nurses on the third and fourth floors and she was a twenty-four-year old kid, still bright-eyed with faith in the people and the world around her. They were two completely different people and Mark didn’t know how this was supposed to work between them that didn’t end in him being a complete asshole – because no matter how many new leaves he turned over, deep down, he was scared that he was always going to be that guy – and her getting her heart broken.


Mark knew why he was with her. She genuinely and truly made him happy. When he was with her, he felt like he could be just Mark and he had never had a woman in his life before who had done that for him. He had no idea how he made her happy though and the only way he knew that she was happy was because she told him.


“I don’t think you’re bad for me,” Lexie said, her hands slowly sliding down his bare chest, one of her fingers stopping to trace his well-defined abs, before slipping onto his back, pulling him down almost entirely on top of her.


“You don’t?” He shifted his weight slightly on top of her so he wasn’t crushing her and she shook her head, smiling. “Why not? I’m a bad guy.”


She laughed softly, almost as if the statement was the most ludicrous thing she had ever heard. “Not to me.” She closed her eyes, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, when he began tracing her clavicle with his index finger. “Why are you bad?”


He didn’t answer her and instead, lowered his lips to the pulse point in the crook of her neck and he listened as her breathing hitched in the back of her throat when he latched his mouth to it and began sucking on the erogenous spot. Her fingers tried to grab hold of something but found only the hard, firm muscles of his back and he felt himself become almost instantly hard when she lifted her legs to wrap around his thighs, lifting her hips to press against his.


“Mark Sloan and bad are synonymous with one another,” he finally responded, lifting his head to look down at her. Her eyes were dark now with arousal and her lips had fallen open as she tried to regulate her breathing once again.


Again, she shook her head in disagreement. “Not to me,” she repeated, her hands going to cup his head, her thumbs pressing into the corners of his jaw by his ears. “And how you are to me is all I care about.”


“I’m probably going to break your heart someday,” he said and as much as he hated it to be, the smallest part of him in the back of his mind knew that it was probably going to wind up being the truth.


“Why would you do that?” Lexie asked softly, frowning.


He shrugged. “It seems to be what I’m good at.”


“I don’t believe that.”


“Doesn’t make it any less true,” he said and he wondered why he was saying these things and causing the happiness in her eyes to slowly fade away like wisps of smoke.


“Do you want to break my heart?” She asked in a whisper, her body tensing slightly as if she was mentally preparing herself for his answer.


“I don’t want to,” he answered quietly with a shake of his head. “It just seems like it will be unavoidable.”


Lexie was silent, staring up at him. “You don’t have to break my heart, Mark. I’m fairly certain that you do whatever you want to.”


He stared at her, his thumb brushing across the apple of her cheek, feeling her impeccably soft skin underneath his touch. She pulled him down for a soft kiss, her lips gently caressing his. Lexie always kissed him as if he was the single-most important person to her in the world. No one had ever given him kisses like she did and now, he never seemed to be satisfied with just one. Like the selfish bastard that he was, he only wanted more. Because of her, he had gotten a taste of what it felt like to feel important, to feel actually wanted, and he didn't know if he could go back to not feeling that again.


Mark didn’t want to think of a time when she wouldn’t be around to kiss him like that anymore.

Tags: pairing: mark sloan/lexie grey, vignette

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