Fuck it (and pardon my language). I am going to keep writing because I am miserable when I do not. Writing and imagining is how I get through my days. And I, like every other person, experiences some self-loathing and self-doubt every once in a while. Thank you to everyone for the kind words of encouragement. I am very happy that I have met all of you since joining LJ.
This is a very short, sweet story so check it out if you are interested. Writing makes me happy and I was stupid to think that I could take a break from it - even for one day.
He doesn’t dance and is extremely grateful that Derek and Meredith have decided to not make their wedding party have to share dances with one another. As the best man, Mark would have been forced to dance with Yang and he knows that he wouldn’t have been able to handle that. The bridesmaids wear emerald green dresses and Mark loves the way it clings to Lexie’s body as she dances and sings along to Baby Got Back with Sadie out on the dance floor. He remains sitting at the head table, eating his piece of cake and drinking his third glass of scotch of the evening, not even noticing some of the female guests that are eyeing him.
She catches his eyes watching her and with a bright, breathless smile, she comes to him, weaving in and out of the other people, and he pushes his chair away from the table seconds before she sits down in his lap, giving him a quick kiss, ending it with laughter as she licks at the icing at the corner of his mouth with the tip of her tongue.
“So, you know all of the words to Baby Got Back?” He asks her with a smirk.
She giggles and he wonders how many flutes of champagne she has had so far since the beginning of the reception. “Yes and I am quite proud of that,” she tells him with a firm nod of her head and then begins running her fingers through his hair. “Will you really not dance with me at least once tonight?”
“I don’t dance,” he tells her for what feels like the thousandth time that evening.
She pretends to give a sigh of exasperation but she is smiling when she does it and then gives him a quick peck on the lips before standing up. “Very well. I guess I just have to ask George for a dance then.”
She shrieks with laughter when he playfully smacks her on the ass.
Near the end of the night, there is a slow song and Mark thinks that he has drank more than he probably should have because he takes Lexie’s hand and tugs her out of the reception hall into one of the darkened back hallways that is completely deserted. For a moment, she thinks he has brought her there for one thing but she is completely stunned when he slips an arm around her waist and pulls her body against his and encasing her hand loosely in his, he holds it against his chest.
The song is muffled through the doors and walls but they can still somewhat here it and Lexie closes her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder, as they sway slowly back and forth. She sighs softly, contently and she tilts her face up to nuzzle her nose against his jaw.
“You’re dancing with me,” she points out to him with a small smile.
He smirks. “And you better savor this because I’m never doing this again.”
They fall quiet again and she tightens her arm around his shoulders just a bit more, his arm squeezing around her waist in silent response.
“I would only do this for you,” he tells her quietly though she already knows that.
She pulls her head back and looks up at him, a smile still on her face. “And that’s why I love you.”
It is the first time one of them have said those words to the other and for a split second, Mark braces himself, expecting her to take it back because really, how can a girl like Lexie Grey love someone like him?
But she doesn’t take it back. She simply keeps looking up at him with a smile on her face. She shakes her head slightly. “You don’t have to say it back, Mark,” she tells him. “I know you don’t say things like that.”
He opens his mouth to argue but he knows that it’s the truth. He doesn’t say those three words. The only person he had ever said them to was Addison and look how fantastic that turned out. He already knows that what he has with Lexie is completely different than that disaster though. Completely different and completely better in every way that counts. He can definitely see himself falling in love with Lexie.
But years of self preservation and keeping people at a safe distance are still the main instincts he tends to act on and the three words he knows he wants to say to her are three words that won’t even form on his tongue.
Instead, he says, “I’ll dance with you anytime you want.”
And when tears spring in her eyes and the happiest smile forms across her face, Mark knows that Lexie knows exactly what he means.