This probably is horribly written but I sat down at my computer and this came out of me in about ten minutes.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to be for her. She had a set plan and she had had every intention of sticking to it because ever since her mom died and her dad found solace in his endless bottles of alcohol, Lexie Grey needed something to cling to – no matter how ridiculous that something was to others once they heard it.
She hadn’t planned on him. How on earth would she had ever anticipated something, someone, like him coming into her life? He wasn’t supposed to happen. At all. She wasn’t supposed to fall for him like she had and be willing to just throw caution to the wind and forget all about her carefully well-made and well-thought out plans.
It wasn’t as if he had ruined everything for her because honestly, everything lately with him had made her life just that much better, but she would be lying if she said that he wasn’t a wrench. An incredibly handsome and sweet – though she was the only one who knew that – wrench that had thrown everything off track before she even had a moment of time to realize it happening.
Before she knew it, she was leaving the hospital with him after their shifts to go and look at condos – not just for him but for her too because he had not only asked her to move in with him but there also might have been a mention of marriage, which he hadn’t brought up since, but the word had been said and now, it wouldn’t leave her head.
Did she want to marry him? It scared her just how much she wanted to shout “Hell yeah!” if he should ever want to breach the subject again with her because getting married this early in both her life and medical career? Definitely not part of her plan.
“What do you think?” He asked and she could tell he was nervous as they stood in the large living room of the first apartment with the floor-to-ceiling tall windows that overlooked downtown Seattle and the small terrace outside.
He was rubbing his ear like he did when he was nervous though she supposed she was the only one to have picked up on that habit of his and she turned in a circle, trying to take in every detail of the apartment – what very well could be their apartment – while he waited and the real estate agent hovered in the doorway.
She stopped and stared at him. She tried to imagine what it would be like coming home to him every night or him coming home to her. This wasn’t like his hotel room or Meredith’s attic. This was theirs. Both of theirs to share. Though they already spent nearly every night together, this was so much different. This was them living together and she didn’t know if he knew just what exactly this meant.
“If you hate it, I found a couple more we can look at,” he offered.
“No, I don’t hate it. I love it actually,” she smiled.
He seemed to sigh with relief and she saw his entire body relax. “You love it? So this is it?”
“Is it?” She asked. His mouth slowly dropped into a frown then and she knew that she had lost him. “This… is this it… for us?”
“You lost me,” he admitted with a slight shake of his head.
“We’ll be living together,” she told him.
“Yeah. Hence the whole asking you to move in with me, Lex,” he said.
“So you definitely want to move in with me? You won’t come back three months from now… three weeks from now and tell me that you changed your mind?” She prodded. “Because this, right here, is not part of the plan-”
“The plan,” he grumbled. “You know, I didn’t even find out about your plan until today but I already despise the fucking thing. Do you want to live here or not?”
“Yes. Do you?”
Mark groaned with frustration and raked a hand through his hair before setting those steel blue eyes of his that could usually almost always make her melt on her. “Look. I want to live here with you. There. That clear enough for you?”
“Fuck the plan, Lexie!” He exclaimed. “Do you think that I ever planned on you?”
“I…” she quieted herself for a moment, glancing away, swallowing. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted and she heard him snort softly.
He went to her, putting his hands on her cheeks, turning her head and forcing her to look up at him, her eyes locking with his.
“Do me a favor and just… forget about the plan for a second,” he said. “Yes or no? Are you in? Do you want to live here with me?”
Lexie stared up at him, the tip of her tongue licking her lips nervously. Forget the plan. Forget the plan? It had been getting her through the past year of her life. What was she going to do without it? She wasn’t like him. She couldn’t just fly blind and run headfirst into things without thinking them through. She had done that once and had almost killed a fellow intern in the process. No. The plan was too important to just forget. Even for a second.
“Lex,” he said, his voice quiet and almost gentle – his bedroom voice, she referred to it as. She loved that voice.
She continued to stare up at him, into those eyes of his. What hadn’t he done for her? He had told Derek because she had asked him to. He, Mark Sloan, had gone to dinner to meet her father because she wanted him to. She had broken his penis for God’s sakes and he hadn’t pushed her away or had her catch him in an on-call room with a nurse after that.
He had done all of that for her and she couldn’t let go of some ten-year plan for him that he had already blown out of the water? What was wrong with her?
She took a deep breath and closing her eyes for a brief second, she nodded her head. “I’m in.”
“Look at me.”
She obediently opened her eyes to look at him. “I’m in,” she repeated, her voice stronger this time and she knew the instant that a large smile spread across his face that she meant it.
She was in. So in.
And he was right – though she would never admit that to him because he was already cocky enough. Forget the plan. Because this, with him, right now, this was something new. Something perfect. Something right. And she could so build a new plan around this. And him.
Because somewhere, sometime along the way, he had become a part of her plan and more importantly, he had become an intricate part of her life.
This with him, life, was better than anything she could have ever hoped for herself and she knew then that she had to stop planning all of the time and just enjoy it.